Same-sex marriage is now a fact of life with state after state endorsing it as a bonafide marriage contract. This has brought me to reconsider the subject hopefully without prejudice and just a soupçon of bias. I have come to the conclusion in studying the, so-called, relevant scripture that God does not approve. But by the same Biblical message I cannot limit God’s grace in matters of the heart. I have worked with gay men before and found them non-threatening on any level. They are not the group trying to discredit my Bible or my God. Quite the opposite, they want to be included in the redeemed and wish God would not toss them aside simply because of the preferences of love.
Additionally, heterosexuals are living with divorce, premarital intimacy—how polite I can be—and cold war relationships. They, too, have sought for the elusive happiness that romantic dreams are made of. It is a little known fact that romantic novels are a woman’s playboy—at least that was the case in a less visible society.
Some of the most romantic songs have been written and sung by indivudals whose own romantic existence is in shambles. I say that respectfully.
I am married—in case you were wondering—to the same woman for more than four decades, and yes, she is the only woman I have ever known in the biblical sense, and, yes, I love her which is none of your business—if you care to know. But none of this means ‘spit’ when it comes to the real issue of finding a soul mate with whom the happiness of life, like the peace of God, becomes the guiding hand of providence. And pleasure, satisfaction, security, fulfillment, and significance become life’s companions. We’re talking Christ-centered….right? Same-sex married people maintain that homosexual behavior is appropriate within the confines of a committed, loving, monogamous, lifelong, Christ-centered relationship—essentially, arguing that a Christ-centered marriage is a good thing, regardless of the gender of the people involved.
Here is my two cents.
The divine vision was, indeed, a man and a woman. This is ideal for procreation, but beyond that, God did not take two ribs from Adam’s chest. Notwithstanding the medical implications of missing ribs, I see the Divine design as one on one which we have called the Henotic relationship after the Greek word hen meaning one. Other scripture at least hint at this conclusion, Additionally, God claimed to hate divorce but according to Jesus, it was allowed because men’s hearts couldn’t find the secret of happiness anymore with one wife, Then Jesus takes us back to Eden to remind us of the henotic relationship God created. Divorce and remarriage, call girls, harems are all the same: The hen of the Garden is gone.
Milton attempts a description of God’s dream. John Milton’s Paradise Lost (book 4, lines 325-340) describes the bliss of the first couple, and it does show why Eden—which means pleasure in Hebrew—is Eden.
Under a tuft of shade that on a green [325]
Stood whispering soft, by a fresh Fountain side
They sat them down, and after no more toil
Of thir sweet Gardning labour then suffic’d
To recommend coole Zephyr, and made ease
More easie, wholsom thirst and appetite [330]
More grateful, to thir Supper Fruits they fell,
Nectarine Fruits which the compliant boughes
Yielded them, side-long as they sat recline
On the soft downie Bank damaskt with flours:
The savourie pulp they chew, and in the rinde [335]
Still as they thirsted scoop the brimming stream;
Nor gentle purpose, nor endearing smiles
Wanted, nor youthful dalliance as beseems
Fair couple, linkt in happie nuptial League,
Alone as they. About them frisking playd [340]
I am reminded of the Song of Solomon 5:8, the Message: ‘Please tell him I want him, that I’m heartsick with love for him.‘
Wow!! Count me in!!!
But you see, that image is gone since Eve and Adam—just as much, if not more to blame then Eve—were driven from Eden. ( We get our word Hedonism from the word Eden—or we should, since the root looks the same and the meaning is the same, Pleasure. )
Garden in Greek is Paradise. The Garden of Eden was a paradise of pleasure which God created. That was HIS idea not ours, and all the dreams now broken and the impulses now frustrated and the longings now unreachable were once a way of life in the mind of the Creator before the fall.
Good news!! God’s not a quitter, so, stay tuned.
Uncle John,
Great piece of writing, I concur with your observations of marriage and gay relationships as they are defined in todays world. I work with many gay and lesbians and am not threatened by them or their lifestyle. Whatever works, I’m not to judge their relationships. But I will relate a story to you which has a sad ending, but will continue to inspire me for the rest of my time I have left here on earth. 1982, I was relieved of duty as a 91st Security Police Squadron Airman and reassigned to the 92nd Missile Security Squadron as a Code Controller granting access to nuclear tipped Minuteman III missiles at Minot AFB, ND. My supervisor, TSgt Gary (last name omitted for personal reasons) inspired me for 3 years that I had the privelige of serving with him on a daily basis. Although I can’t remember the exact reason for him telling me this, but I’ve always “Accept the challenge when it’s thrown at you”. Whether conciously or not, I’ve always accepted any challenge that has come my way. I’ve never backed down. Gary was gay and being in the military at that time must have been extremely difficult for him. Time came and went and I lost track of him until I came upon his FB page. However, when I did contact him via FB he had had surgery for Brain Cancer and succumbed to this disease this past January. He was a kind and gracious man and I shall miss him alot. His personal relationship with Jesus carried him thru to the end and I have no doubt that he is still guiding me today.
The theology of homosexual relationships is more complex than the most outspoken theologians would indicate. We pull out proof-text after proof-text, but without taking into account the cultural context—or even the moral point—the biblical writers were speaking to. Sodom and Gomorrah may have been evil, but in this case the liberals happen to be right: they were violent and did not respect the rights and needs of the foreigner (both of which are important values which show up repeatedly in the Bible); homosexual lust was not the worst of their crimes. In the first century Roman Empire, homosexual conduct largely served as a means for powerful men to play out perverted sexual fantasies at the expense of their subordinate underlings, in a social structure that even modern gay-rights activists would probably agree with Paul (in Romans 1) constituted “indecent acts.”
The fact is that the biblical writers simply never encountered homosexual relationships of the sort we’re dealing with in our society.
That doesn’t put God’s seal of approval on modern homosexual relationships. It only means we can’t indiscriminately pull out proof-texts and expect to get anywhere constructive.
On the other hand, we are all struggling. And if you bother to notice in the book of Romans, that was Paul’s point. “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things… Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” (2:1,3). To paraphrase Paul: you who rail against sexual immorality, are you sexually immoral? “You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: ‘God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you’” (2:22-24).
This is something I think Christianity could learn from the Jews. (And that section of Romans does appear to have been written to Jews in Rome, and reflects Jewish values.) Each of us is on his own spiritual journey, and part of our job here on Earth is to make the earth a better place. That means, first and foremost, that we must humble ourselves to one another in order to obey the law of love, that we not neglect “the more important matters of the law–justice, mercy and faithfulness” (Matt 23:23).
So, yeah, I think I agree with you, Dad.
-TimK
Uncle John,
I concur with your thoughts on the issue of redefining marriage in the 21st century. I would however, like to share a personal and thought provoking instance where I looked differently on the gay issue here in the US. While stationed at Minot AFB, ND I had a supervisor TSgt Gary (Last name witheld for personal reasons) who I knew was gay. I worked alongside him for 4 yrs. on almost a daily basis while assigned to the Keys and Codes Control Center where I granted access to nuclear tipped Minuteman III missiles. I forget the instance, but he challenged me to “accept any challenges that confront me”. Whether concious or not, I’ve always done things I probably wouldn’t have had it not been for Gary. I finally contacted him after many years via Facebook and was told the sad news that he had brain cancer. Gary passed on January 4th, 2012 and I know his personal relationship with Jesus sustained him with the Chemo and eventual death. I know I shall miss him alot. Times change and being non-judgmental has cleared my thoughts and visions of the redefining of marriage.