[I just got up too early this morning with nothing much to do but pray, meditate and then let my thoughts wonder…… They drifted lazily into the feeling that regardless of how messed up life gets, forgive and be forgiven brings true reconciliation with the past.]
I set fire to my past,
Burned many a bridge behind me.
But that was never my intent
When I began this journey.
Old girl friends left with broken hearts
And some I even dissed.
Some left without a word from me
How loved they were, how missed.
Those early days with family left
While I followed dreams and visions.
And both were hopelessly strewn about—
Debris from the collisions.
Churches once my home away
May never see me back.
They held me once in high esteem
…Not since I got the sack.
One congregation is simply gone.
Some leave, some die, some disappear
And no amount of searching now
Can locate them, I fear.
Some churches are alive with change.
Some just carry on.
But from where I can observe the work,
Old friendships are all gone.
And closest friends of yesteryear,
When friendships could be proved,
No longer call, no longer write.
In many ways they’ve moved.
But this is not a tale of woe.
Although I must admit:
I wish I knew just how they fare;
It bothers me a bit.
I started out to build my world
To make my mark for good
To give the hopeless brighter days
To help any where I could.
I started out enthused, excited,
A man infused with vision.
I saw just love and unity—
Not bitterness and fission.
[I take a break here in my tale;
This all sounds terribly dour.
But might we say without reserve
There are many on this skewer?
The Psalmist knew attending grief,
His “days consumed like smoke.”
He torched his way thru much of life—
Of which he often spoke.]*
Perhaps, life’s friendships are not destroyed
In the fire and the smoke;
The forest floor contains the seed
Of tomorrow’s grandest oak.
The blesséd thought which gives me hope,
A future I can live in,
With all things finally said and done,
Is knowing I’m forgiven.
written May, 2018