I’m bored. I am not depressed, though, perhaps, a tad discouraged. But I am clearly bored! I wake up around 4:00 each morning and l lie there wondering what I want to do this day of my retirement, but I come up with nothing.
I looked up the word “bored” in the Bible and got this:
But Jehoiada the priest took a chest, and bored a hole in the lid of it…. – 2 Kings 12:9
I found this, though, in the Message translation:
“Instead of honoring me, you profane me. You profane me when you say, ‘I’m bored—this doesn’t do anything for me.’ You act so superior, sticking your noses in the air—act superior to me! … This is God speaking to you! = Malachi 1:12-13
I’m still bored. Is it the medication? I got a hormone shot and 20 pills plus my “markers” [injections before radiation for treating my cancer]. I don’t even find the young women on the news particularly attractive anymore. I do know I love my wife but beside the occasional hug … nothing. [‘nough said. Too much said!!]
I don’t want to return to work. Each time I visit any place of business shopping or just cruising stores I am thankful I don’t have to do that for a living.
I am reading a book which is interesting (I have many such books) but I don’t know why I choose this one over the others and when I finish this book, if I finish this book, will I reread another from my library? I spend time fishing in my study for a good book with no bites.
I got excited about studying the minor prophets—our pastors are into these on Sunday mornings. So, I decided to study along which is a great idea for a guy like me (a former pastor), but I ran into a road block—my brain cell count. You see: I study from the classical Hebrew but I am running into new words “up-the-wazoo” and my brain cannot keep up. (I wish I were at least 20 years younger.) And there are so many exceptions to some rule of grammar that even the commentators are in total disagreement as to the translation. Well, that’s that.
I am not depressed. I still cling to life. I discovered this about myself this past week while in recovery in the hospital (I had a “procedure” in the O.R.) when my blood pressure nose dived to 60 over 40. I could feel myself losing consciousness. I had my finger on the buzzer like in a quiz show and the doctor and nurses were right there to address the situation. I am O.K.—now—but I didn’t “feel” ready yet to leave this sphere. I firmly believe that when the time comes God’s grace will herald the glorious moment and all will be peace.
We dropped Netflix …nothing to watch! There are movies to watch except none that interest me and I am through for now looking down lists.
Facebook? Social networking? Not really interested right now. I watched a little YouTube. I like the old hymns I find out there. And I watch old episodes of “Gunsmoke” on DVR, prerecorded. (I used to watch these as a kid with my uncle.) But I delete most of them without watching.
The news!? Yuck! I get a little bit of news first thing in the morning. I “catch up” then but I am embarrassed by the childishness that passes for congressional activity these days.
I like walking but not in the rain or bitter cold. (Guess what kind of weather we have been having?)
There is one thing I enjoy …PEOPLE! I like talking to the wife and an occasional phone conversation with a friend. But is boredom contagious? I don’t need to wear out my welcome with them.
Well, I am bored typing and I don’t know what I want to do next …. Maybe another cup of coffee.
Oh, count the words. there are 666.
I’m still bored.